Issue 11 Fiction Editor’s Prize
August 18th
A regular came in today, March. He asked for a hat that compliments the time for tea. He always raved to me: “Come now, brother, your downs have murdered the time.” I couldn’t care less about his nonsensical rambling, but Alice loves—loved.
She loved.
August 19th
How cruel fate be taunting me on. I was awoken by the rabbit again; he mocks me. His watch in hand. Tick, tock, tick, to—Time. If I only kept on good terms with him, he’d do almost anything you’d like with the clock. Neverthemind, the day kept scurrying without me. I got up and hurried to dress as quickly as possible and went on with work.
Ack—! Those devilish twins again. In a word, those two thrashed my hattery like a whirlwind, scattering ribbons, feathers, and felt. The dumber of the two seized a spool of crimson thread and flung it through the air to try and mimic confetti; the other kicked over a stack of hat blocks. Those mindless kids snatched at my precious silks and trampled them underfoot, shrieking with laughter. Such vile, hideous fiends from Hades they are; I’ll be damned if they keep on so. If only I weren’t so wretchedly frail—I should pick one and make use of his fat; I’d wring him dry. How joyous a temptation!
August 21st
At two o’clock in the afternoon, I set out to see the theater, and someone—something caught my eye from around the corner. I walked toward the figure only to find a rat. No, more like—a mouse. It’s—he? He’s lying there on the street unconscious, his form quite abnormally large. I squinted my eyes and—yes, I know him. Leaning closer, I heard a faint hum: “Up above the world you fly, like a tea tray in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle—” I couldn’t bear another second of his mumbling, so I pinched him. The mouse slowly opened his eyes and exclaimed in a hoarse, feeble voice: “I wasn’t asleep; I heard every step and breath you took, fellow.” He says, but I would have none of it. That damn rodent has always been a lazy prick. Then he said, “How come you are without her? Elise—or was it, Lacie? Tillie, mayhap?” “Alice,” I answered. “Yes! Last I saw of her was when El-i-za-be…” Before that sluggish fool could even finish a sentence, he fell back asleep! What was he to say about my Alice? Foo, the devil take it! Could she be—
August 24th
That white imp! Keeping me from my slumber. Tick, tock, tick, to—ack…! That incessant ticking, every click gnawing at my bones.
August 25th
Today, when I stepped out my front door, I was back there—here. This wasn’t new to me, I suppose. Let’s see: Wonderland hasn’t changed much since I last been. However, an extraordinary thing showed itself today. I was startled by seeing a Cheshire cat sitting on a bough of a tree, not so far away. That thing is new; it looked bad-natured, I thought. That cat only grinned when it saw me stare. When I moved closer, he began to talk to me like this: “By-the-bye, what became of you, Hatter? Around these parts without Ali—” “Alice? You know of—” “Did I say malice or chalice?” I swear to God, I’ll birch the ears off that cat! How does he know about my Alice…! “Alice—last I saw an Alice, she was playing croquet with the Queen.” After, it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. What the devil! I’ve seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without a cat? It’s the maddest thing I ever saw in all my life—Alice! It mentioned my Alice. She could be…ack—!
September 1st
No, I haven’t a scrap of strength left. God! I have to find her. I should not endure it any longer. The thought of it crawls and scorns my skin. It is as if Wonderland itself conspires to keep her from me—no more cruel torment can befall a father. Once she’s in my arms again come you, I will not let her go.
September 2nd
I walked around the palace walls, scaling them brick by brick, clutching the cold stones. Every creak of this palace’s bones derides me! Then, I suddenly found myself on the outskirts of a beautiful garden, among bright flowerbeds beside the cool fountains. A large rose tree stood near the entrance; the roses were white, but there were three gardeners tending to it, painting them red—how very strange. The garden itself was set for a croquet match. I had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in my life! The croquet balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets were live flamingos, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and stand on their hands and feet to form the arches. Then I saw her—Elizabeth, the Queen of Hearts. I stared for a minute when suddenly The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, like a wild beast, began screaming: “Off with their heads!” What a vile tongue!
There I stayed for a milli-moment longer, when suddenly that wretched rabbit appeared again. He dashed out from behind a nearby shrub, muttering: “Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!” The white demon speaks! His voice was as shrill as I thought it to be. Suddenly, he scurried himself straight to a vine-covered wall, and before I could blink, he vanished behind it. Curiouser and curiouser—! I hopped down from my position, tugged at the thick vines and found a narrow opening hidden from sight. Without a second thought, I hopped through and walked into the dark corridors beyond.
Castle Prison. The 100th week of the day.
The corridors seem to have led me inside the castle’s penal institution; my mind wanders—wait, have I been here before? Ack—! The cobbles are slick beneath my worn boots; the dampness clings deep. I ran my hands along the rough-hewn stones, feeling and tracing every notch and crack. I must have walked miles; Time has folded himself.
I pause; a rat scuttles by my feet, dragging a piece of rotting bread, far too big for its teeth to carry. Vermin—a grotesque spectacle; I can’t stand it! In a fit of disgust, I raise my boot, bringing it down, followed by a sickening crunch. The rat’s body crumples under my heel like an old, discarded rag. And what burns beneath my flesh is not the act, but the knowledge that she is here somewhere.
Can’t remember the date. September.
What great jubilation! I pressed myself against these prison walls and found out from one of those pesky guards where they’re keeping her. I nearly laughed myself sick when I realized it—now everything is about to be revealed. Hold on a while longer, dear girl.
The devil’s time. September.
She locked me in—that damn red heron! God knows how long I’ll be stuck here. It’s so desolate that even my breath bounces off the walls. Ack—! There’s this foul, pungent odour coming from around the cell. Hopefully, when the light shows, I can figure it out and toss it out of the bars.
Between the heavens. September.
Oh—oh God. Oh God!
Six o’clock, every day.
Oh, Alice—! My dear, sweet Alice—! What have they done to you—innocent girl! You were not as you were before. Your arm, tossed aside like a broken doll’s limb. Your fingers, ever so delicate, now twisted—what senseless, cruel butcher! A lock of your golden hair matted with blood clings to the cold stone floor. There’s no place for us in this world—any world! Even in a place full of wonder, I can’t press you close! It’s killing me! My Wonderland is destroyed—my mind is in ruins!