花樣年華

—you don’t know what it means, so
lemme break it down through experience

Imagine:

you’re smokin’ on the balcony
of a 2nd-floor 기숙사 / ki-suk-sa / dorm, 
high as fuck, lookin’ down at the world
‘cause a lil’ elevation makes you feel 
like 신 / shin / god on a throne in the sky, 

people pass by, faces you recognize, 
& you realize how lucky you are 
to feel 안전 / an-jeon / safe, mixin’ 
languages & smokin’ w/o fear-
n’ judgment like you do outside,

it’s never scary here, same w/ bein’ 퀴어
kwi-eo / queer, there’s no looks, no torches, 
no riots to discipline, a land free 
for 사람 / sal-am / people like you & me
to explore, to learn, to grow,

to pass joints to & fro, like livin’
in a paradise before joinin’ the real
세계 / se-gye / world, where everyone’s full
of themselves & judgment & you
gotta hide your sins, move behind
쓰레기 / sseul-e-gi / garbage bins 
to breathe, to smoke, to explore,
to be safe, to be here, to be queer,
                           to be you

such a momentary era, a fleetin’ blip
of memory, the world drags
at the thought & your heart stops
as you’re hit w/ a realization:
you’ll never relive this moment again—

花樣年華

화양연화
hwa-yang-yeon-hwa

the most beautiful moment of your life